Frequently Asked Questions

As things clam down, and more people are pressuring me to write an update, I have finally given in and am presenting a nice little FAQ sheet of the last while. It contains questions I have been asked a lot lately, and reflections on my answers to these questions, as well as some photos of things I have seen.

Since I started school at the end of August last year, I have been on the go, or have been too tired to come up with coherent thoughts to actually write anything. I have watched a lot of Netflix in lieu of leisure reading, writing, and sometimes studying. Thankfully though, I have moved through the past 6.5 months with good spirits and passing grades.

I have noticed that since school started, I have been saying: once this month is done, things will be better.

Every month I say that. In January I said February, now in February I am saying March. I keep going and going saying that it is good enough and once I make it to a point everything will be better... I started reading the book "Present Over Perfect" again, which discusses how the things we do to keep busy, depending on how they are used, is like doing drugs; distracting you from what you're avoiding. Watching Netflix is my drug. I know that, and I use it to have a good enough experience. I am settling for good enough. I am letting myself be good enough, when I could be better. As such, I am going to be more intentional with what I do and how I do it to be more present, but also, better than good enough.

This year has been rough (yes 2020). I have been sick for 2 weeks in January. I had 3 group projects, 2 presentations, and 2 exams in January also. I got strep throat last week, and had to go to the hospital for antibiotics on a Sunday night (after spending the day sitting on the couch crying). This year I have spent already almost 200 euro on medical... yay. But thankfully I have a few jobs, and am surviving.

In November I got a job at a bar in Ede. It has been fun! It's like going out every weekend without a hangover the next day. Since working there, and the simple truth that I don't speak Dutch, I have become quite the spectacle for customers. Oh the stories I could share.... Most recently I have been invited on a family ski trip to Austria, and was asked if I would take them to Canada with me next Christmas so they could 1. meet my family and 2. ski in Canada. I also, according to the same people, need to stop working so much, and go out with them and relax. Little do they know that I only work one day a week, and I'd rather not spend my free time saying difficult words in Dutch for them.

When I work I have the same conversation probably 5-10 times within the night. So I have compiled the most asked questions into a nice list over the last 4 months for other people to enjoy! (Complete with my sarcastic retaliations and a more serious answer (after I get 'the look')).

1. Where are you from?

Me: Canada

Them: Oh Canada! Canada! It's a nice place Canada. I have family there

Me: Oh yeah?

Them: Yeah! In Toronto. Do you know it?

Me: Sure do!

"Canada, nice country Canada. I want to go there".

This question usually comes after they start talking really fast to me in Dutch. Over the past year I have been learning Dutch, and I can definitely say that my understanding of the language is getting better. In general I know what is going on in conversations, and I watch movies in Dutch, but my speaking and sentence formation is still terrible.

The question "where are you from" has always been weird for me. How does one truly answer that question. Where I came from? Where my ancestors came from? Obviously the answer people want is where I came from, but in a way, I always feel like they are asking "Who are you"? "Where have you grown?" "What are you growing from now?". Where you come from is formative. I asked a person this past shift where he was from, and he simply said, "Here, I am from here. I have always been here. I move a lot, but I am always moving in this place, because this is where my circle is". Maybe being from somewhere is where you feel comfortable. Somewhere you belong...

On another note, I have been asked about Brexit a lot and how I think about it. Also, what my family thinks about me being here during it. I then have to reassure them that I am in fact not from England, and Brexit really don't not effect me that much.

Like who would not want to be here?

2. What are you doing here?

Usually I say something like: working, can't you tell? or: serving you beer. Of course I always get the "Ja ja, but I mean in Holland (The Netherlands)". The conversation goes as follows:

Me: I am here to study

Them: Oh? What study you?

Me: Organization Psychology (I shortened the name because if I said the whole thing I get the, "wow, thats a mouth full" and it gets awkward)

Them: Oh here in Ede of Wageningen

Me: In Utrecht

Them: Oh! Utrecht! Then why are you living here? In Ede?

Me: Well I have friends in Ede and it is cheaper to live here

Them: Oh yeah, that is true... But Canada! It is so nice there. Why would you ever leave (said with much shock and concern)?!

I can, without a doubt, say Canada is a beautiful place. Most people do not leave Canada. Why would you leave such a large country with some of the most beautiful landscapes in the world? But that is just it. It is so big. Lately I have been telling people that I love Canada, but it is too big for me. The idea of driving hours just to get to one side of the city makes me cringe. The cold is unhealthy for me. The simple fact that I am able to go for 2 hour walks right now, and look at the flowers blooming, the grass growing... It is amazing.

I am here because I know it is where I belong. A "when you know you know" kind of thing. I mean, it isn't easy at all. Since July times have been tough, but like I always say "I would rather be upset here than miserable in Canada"....

Maybe I should start saying something radical like: I am here to impact lives

and then just walk away...

3. What about your family?

Me: What about them?

Them: Well, do you miss them?

Me: Of course I miss them. I miss them more than you could ever imagine

One thing I have learned about family over the past while is this: Family is deeper than a relationship. You don't need to be friends or talk to people in your family, but they will always be there when you need them. For me, every time I tell one family member something, I have another one asking me about it the next time we talk. This can sometimes be annoying, but mostly it is a reminder than no matter how far away you are, family will always be there for you. I might not have the most contact with my family, and that is okay, because I know that they love me, and they know that I love them. Even when times are though, I know that everything will be okay. I think the most difficult part of being away from Canada, is missing family events, moments when families should be together. I am completely stuck here when something goes wrong. I am removed. Nothing seems real when I am not there living it. One could argue that is a good thing because I am protected from the pain, but I argue that it isn't really a protection because now I have a new position of figuring out how to process things by myself. By myself... That is what I am. I have amazing friends, and I have family like people (who I consider family), but it is not the same. It never will be the same. So yes. I do miss my family. But I also know where I am called and where I am supposed to be. One day, everything will align and I will be with my family again, and boy am I looking forward to it. So I just have to wait. Have patience. Be still. Work for what will come, and be where I am lead.